You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
is it fun? or sober?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
