so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
