If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
