He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
