How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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