He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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