In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
