I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
