Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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