Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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