im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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