I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
