we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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