you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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