Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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