Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
