I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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