Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
