I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
