Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize