Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
