i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
