Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
So. Much. Porn.
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