well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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