My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
vagina is talking i cant
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
