sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
