I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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