You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
