her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
