I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
