Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize