Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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