At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Randomize
