My room smells like vodka and shame
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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