i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
