hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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