a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I can't turn off my feet"
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
