Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Is this like a preordered booty call?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
