Already got asked if we're dating
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
