ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
