Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
