my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Shame - the story of my life.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
