IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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