Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
