i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
