Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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