Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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