just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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