every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize