Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
