Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
