i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
