I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Randomize
