i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Randomize
