Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
