So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
