it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I need to align my fucking chakras
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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