Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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