Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Too much gin, very little bucket
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
They are going to name an STD after you.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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