I puked a lego.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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