Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
