I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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